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February 2007
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April 2007

she's gone.....


Our sweet baby is gone....I realize she's in a much better place -- a well deserved spot just for her. I know she's running and playing and she's not in anymore pain. I know when I get there she'll be waiting at the gate for me. I just ache and long to hold her, smell her sweet doggy smell. I want to kiss her nose and have her head on my lap. It feels so empty in our house, no clacking of her toenails, no satisfied sighs, no one laying in the sun, no one at the top of the stairs, no soft breathing at night....everything is so different, so incomplete without her. I know one day I'll be able to welcome another sweet soul into our hearts and home, maybe soon, maybe later. I know that she would want me to rescue someone else so that they can have a wonderful life too. She gave us so much......unconditional love, laughter, filling my heart with joy because she was just happy to be with us......such simple things that show you what life is all about.....making me happy when no one else could. I can't imagine life without her and now I have to. I have to get used to the silence, the lack of softness, the contented sighs, the huffs when she was pouty, the kisses, the nuzzles....and I know it will get easier but for now I just want to cry. I hope she is happy and she's not angry with me, I hope she checks in from time to time and nuzzles me, even if I can't feel it or know that she's there. It hurts so much to not have her here. I have only happy memories, we were truly blessed - she came into my life when I needed her most and it was only fitting that her name was Angel. She truly was an angel among us, a great dog ambassador, a gentle spirit, yet strong and unbroken, offering her love, companionship and acceptance of my faults and failures. I will miss you Angel-girl. I will be expecting a big greyhound lean and lots of kisses and we'll be playing and having fun on our island in the sun.

Saw this on my friend Rachel's blog

and wanted to try it.....

Musical 8 Ball

Put iTunes (or whatever you use to listen to music) on random, ask the question, press next, and see if iTunes answers your question with the song you get... (don't take answers that don't make sense)

1. What is missing from my life?
The Kiss - Edwin McCain - sometimes it feels that way with our hectic lives, even though it's not that hectic to others

2. Will I find love?
Save Me - Marc Broussard - somtimes I think we all need some saving :-)

3. Will I become rich?
I Don't Wanna Be - Gavin De Graw - apparently it's not in the cards for me!

4. Does someone have a crush on me?
Truly, Truly, Truly - Grant Lee Buffalo - I'm sure it's Karl.

5. What is my favorite sexual position?
Over-Rated - Gavin Degraw

6. Am I good looking?
You'll Think of Me - Keith Urban - apparently you should all think so too.... :P

7) When am I most happy?
Satisfied Mind - Jeff Buckley -- I love this song

8. What is my biggest regret?
Over My Head - The Fray -- I iwsh I could let things go - and just be free

13. How will I die?
God Only Knows - The Beach Boys - yep he's always had the answer

14. Do I act my age?
So What'cha Want? - Beastie Boys - I guess that answers it...Mike D is my fave.

15. What type of tattoo should I get?
Baby Girl - Sugarland - I was thinking of doing something that would symbolize Mackenzie and Patrick for my next tattoo anyways!

16. What is my spirit animal?
Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix -- something with little wings people, little wings....

17. Do I like pain?
All Over You - SheDaisy -- only for others I guess

18. Is there anyone else like me out there?
Beverly Hills - Weezer - everyone in the Hills --- I hope not!

19. Do I love to party?
Sunrise - Norah Jones -- I'm up all I night I guess

20. Where should I move to?
Another Postcard - Barenaked Ladies -- I guess wherever I get my next postcard from!

21. Am I secretly gay?
Big Bang Baby - Stone Temple Pilots - Does anyone know how the story really goes?

22. Will I ever be president?
State Of Love and Trust - Pearl Jam - only if the world becomes a better it's not likely anytime soon.

23. What is fun for me?
Set Adrift On memory Bliss - PM Dawn - I like remembering thing and I guess this lightly ties into scrapbooking.

24. Will I ever learn to fly?
Angels Working Overtime - Deana Carter - I guess eventually with a lot of HELP!

25. What is my super power?
California Stars - Billy Bragg & Wilco - I can apparently manipulate the stars in California to align how I want them to, it's weak but no other song seemed to fit. :P

Isn't it exciting when

you find out something that seems like it would never have an answer?

That my friends is exactly what part of my family is finding out and experiencing right now! My Grandpa was our family mystery, our skeleton in the closet so to speak....ok well not my actual Grandpa - but his roots were always unknown to us - he was "adopted" and we never got an answer out of him before he left us.

After all these years - we have discovered - well rather my Daddy(yes I still call him Daddy), my Aunt Bridget and Uncle Bob the answer. I've grown up assuming that I was English, Irish, Scottish and Polish.

My Uncle Bob recently came across the key to everything, sharing it with my Daddy and Aunt Bridget! My Aunt Bridget did some digging and more digging and gave us the important key to our past! Long story short, my Grandpa was/is Italian and Czech! How exciting! I am so happy to be able to share this with Patrick and Mackenzie. I haven't fully absorbed the impact of it yet because I just found out this past Friday. It's just so fantastic to know where I came from - where we all came from! I am so happy for our family, especially for our new generation (Patrick, Justin, Tyler and Mackenzie)!